Women do not want to date a man that they out-earn. This is a position stated by the manosphere. I do not think I have heard a woman online or in-person refute this either. Even if she does date a man that earns less than her, it will only last for so long and she will expect him to make more eventually, or as they say, they expect him to have ambition.
So, I have seen many women staunchly oppose the position of these men in the manosphere. I have been hard-pressed to find strong arguments against their points, though. I heard women say that these men hate women, or were hurt, or are incels, or are just plain mean, but it was difficult to come across any logical arguments against these points. I wanted to hear the other side of the argument, but I just wasn’t coming across them. The closest I came to finding that was a video discussing the flaws in Kevin Samuels’s approach. (I really tried to find the video, but couldn’t. Sorry. Basically, from what I can remember, she said that he often moves the goal post in his conversations with women.)
What I have heard from women that has been interesting is that a man providing financial security isn’t that important. What they do want from men is for them to be more emotionally available and in tune with their emotions to provide emotional support. They say that if they could get that from men, then that trait alone could outweigh a lot of these other traits.
This reminds me of something I heard from Rebecca Lynn Pope. Rebecca Lynn Pope is a YouTube content creator and former matchmaker. She says she stopped being a matchmaker because a lot of her women clients, they had unrealistic expectations, and she just couldn’t do it anymore.
One complaint she had about women was that they want their men to communicate with them as their girlfriends do, which was in a sensitive and emotional manner. Pope’s point is, that’s just not how men are and women have to get over that. If you’re looking for a man to communicate to you how your girlfriends do, you will always be disappointed.
I think that’s interesting because, on the one hand, Rebecca Lynn Pope and many men are saying that men are “wired” a certain way or they are not biologically meant to be emotional. Contrary to that, I am hearing many women say that men are conditioned to be stoic and out of touch with their emotions. This is essentially a nature vs. nurture argument.
I think there is probably room for men to be more in tune with their emotions, but the two questions remain: 1) what is the limit to this? And 2) how common is it for women to actually like this once they get it? For context, some say that women say they want this, but when they actually date a man that is more emotionally expressive, they are turned off.